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i was talking to sam, who gave me some strength, even though it made me sort of really anxious. i was in such a pissy, awkward mood when i left. the day had just been like, shitty.
i saw maia and richelle and noor and i was like whoa hey. it helped.
i looked down. then i looked up and she. was. there. and i didn’t even know what to say. we all laughed and smiled and i felt really weak in the knees and i felt like passing out but i didn’t. and i bought juice because i needed to get away but i didn’t really want to.
but then we missed the train and i didn’t want to leave and being with her made me feel like this warm globe type thing.
anyway. emily left, and so did richelle, and maia and i and her went down to the train station and she didn’t know where she was going. maia was like; should i follow you, and i said sure, but pushed her back and told jasper to go away when he came near.
and i walked her to the trolley. i fast-walked her. and kissed her on the cheek twice and i felt like if i died right then and there, it’d be so okay. but mycah pointed out that if i died, i wouldn’t be able to do it again.
she’s the most beautiful thing in the world. she’s just like…
i’m so glad she’s alive. and that she’s my person.
